what's it called when you can watch a pregnant woman struggle and not help? or kick a cripple? or sneeze on a baby? or laugh when an old person dies? oh that's right, if you do any of these things, youre an MTA employee.
the rage that fills me right now is enough to make my body shake, literally. a gorgeous friday afternoon and i should be rejoicing, but instead, i am thinking of committing my first crime.
i venture across the street to another subway stop and proceed downstairs. to my surprise (not) the machines are portraying the same behavior. cash only at 530 on a friday is just cruel!
every 7 days i refill my metro card with $55, which gives me unlimited rides on the express bus for 7 days. on monday, my card expired. i forgot to refill it monday after work, but no biggie, i used change tuesday morning and tuesday evening i refilled my card. $55 paid onto my freedom card.
the rage that fills me right now is enough to make my body shake, literally. a gorgeous friday afternoon and i should be rejoicing, but instead, i am thinking of committing my first crime.
i left work and knew i had to refill my metrocard. so i go down into the bowling green subway station, as always, insert my metro card, insert my debit card and wahlah! processing, processing, processing (you get the point) i press cancel and proceed to the window, where i plan on asking if i can refill my card using a credit card at the window. before i can even ask, literally all i said was "excu.." and i was cut off with a 'cut the music' hand gesture. you know the one. and a "we closed". RAGE! i hope she gets diarrhea tonight, infront of her man, at the club.
i venture across the street to another subway stop and proceed downstairs. to my surprise (not) the machines are portraying the same behavior. cash only at 530 on a friday is just cruel!
i go back upstairs, walk 4 blocks to chase to get cash ( at which point i also see my bus pass) and then back down into bowling green. finally get my metrocard and 5 useless dollar coins.
my greasy hair is now slicked back. my hate for the mta has increased to a platinum level, and im in between wanting to get drunk and flip a city bus on flatbush avenue or stay home in bed.
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every 7 days i refill my metro card with $55, which gives me unlimited rides on the express bus for 7 days. on monday, my card expired. i forgot to refill it monday after work, but no biggie, i used change tuesday morning and tuesday evening i refilled my card. $55 paid onto my freedom card.
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(also for any smart asses, just because the charge is pending has no relevance on the useless metro card. i have bought and used a metro card, using my credit card, and used said metro card seconds later.)
tuesday evening i go to get on the bus, insert my metro card and it reads "$0.00 paid" so i re-insert it and it reads "invalid card". i look at the driver, swear to him i just refilled it and he looks at me, with the blankest of stares, and i proceed to sit down. i think to myself that it must be some error, and it will be fine tomorrow morning.
wednesday morning comes. it's not fine. again my card does not work. i try a few times and this driver just tells me to go sit. an entire work day passes and certainly this metro card flub has worked itself out by now, a day and a half later.
my wednesday evening bus rolls up. same motherfucking error message. this is now my third time. three different drivers, three different times, but the same shame. the whole bus knows your card is no good. it makes a different sound, you stand by the machine longer, you dont make eye contact with other passengers, you just look hopelessly into the eyes of the bus driver. shame becomes you.
thursday morning, error message. what in the hell is going on?! this time i was prepared with change. but why should i have to be? counting out $6 in change is a tedious job, especially when i've already paid $55 to the MTA.
so now today, i will have the dreaded task of trying to get my $55 back from the MTA. i will also carry around with me the small panic that if i go to purchase a new metro card for my ride home, the same error message will haunt me. and god save the soul of the bus driver who denies me a ride.
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| oh just me, waiting for the bus -__- |
so i'm finally thawed out enough to type about my journey home last night. we are currently in a polar vortex. it sounds intense, because it fucking is. the temperatures (as many of you know because you're in it too) drop to the teens and well below zero once that sun goes down. and its especially cold near the water where i work, nice breeze.
yesterday was a particularly stressful day. it was one of those days when everyone in your office waits until 5PM to start giving you stuff to do and its all time sensitive and has to get out before you leave (which is in 15 minutes). i came to terms with the fact that i would be missing the 5:20 bus and would catch the 5:40. BUT i also needed to refill my metro card and drop something off at the UPS drop box. so time was of the essence to pull all of this off and get on that bus.
i left my office at 5:20, dropped the package to UPS, got my metro card refilled, all in time to see the 5:40 bus leave the stop EARLY! motherfucker. i literally said "fucking nooo" out loud. this bus was early. i knew it wasn't the 5:20 bus running late because i know that driver. and it was 5:38 and i was 100 feet away. i would have attempted a run, but with my luck would have fell on the un-shoveled sidewalk.
i stood on line and tried to convince myself that it wasn't the 5:40 bus, that the bus was coming any second. but as i stood there and saw every other bus pass (mostly for queens and staten island, brooklyn buses are the WORST), i realized my fate. i was going to die, frozen to death, standing at a bus stop, with my middle finger in the air, and a single tear on my cheek.
i can not imagine what people who freeze to death must feel like, because i thought i was going to pass out. i started loosing it. i was crying, then breathing really heavy just to feel my own hot breath, then shaking, then doing a two step. and FINALLY at 6:20, almost an hour later, the bus pulled on up.
i was the first person on line and the bus pulled up a little way behind me. i fucking stared down everyone on that line and let them know that if they got on that fucking bus before me, after i was at the head of the line for AN HOUR, there would be blood shed. luckily they understood my glare, and i boarded first.
the bus was packed and hot. i sat in a seat that didn't recline. i got home close to 8PM. thanks MTA, time to think of a new slogan. MTA we'll dick you all day!
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yesterday something positive happened to me on the bus. i forgot my metro card and the bus driver let me ride to work anyway. i was going to write today and make a quip about "a day late and a six dollars short" and write that even though the driver didn't crack a smile or say anything to me, it was still nice to win one and ride for free. BUT NO. this mornings commute trumps any good deed the MTA has ever done (and there aren't many i can think of).
i was admittedly running late, so i decided to take the 8:37am bus. i arrived at the bus stop at 8:33, 4 minutes to spare - well 8:37 came and went. the woman waiting with me struck up a conversation (which normally i hate, but she was pretty cool). the rain started to pick up and before i knew it it was 8:53, and i wasn't on the bus. at 9am i came to the conclusion that the 8:37 bus was a thing of the past and i was now waiting for the 9:06 bus.
soaking wet, i waited (because really what else am i going to do, the MTA has me by the balls as this is the only bus out of the neighborhood). the woman (i forgot her name, started with an S i think) and i exchanged MTA horror stories and complained to each other some more. at 9:06, there was still no sign of the bus. my grey uggs are now black from being soaked, my jacket has given up blocking the rain and is now just welcoming it with open arms.
at 9:10, just when i am ready to walk home and call my boss to tell him i am working from home today, (my original plan that in hindsight i should have stuck to) TWO buses turn the corner, one downtown (my bus) and one midtown. S and i proceed to close our umbrellas (since what do you know she works like 4 blocks from me, so we share a bus) and the bus, OUR bus, that we've waited nearly 40 minutes for in the freezing rain, GOES RIGHT PASSED US. does not stop. does not even glance our way to make eye contact to say "hey are you downtown?". there is nothing. i am empty.
the midtown bus sees me and S in distress and tells us to hop on, that he will chase the downtown for us and we can switch. so we get on and he proceeds to follow our bus that has abandoned us. he honks, flashes his brights, swerves so she can see him in her mirror. she makes the next turn, where the next stop is, and what do you know - DOES NOT STOP. i literally LOL'd. is this a dream? am i still in my bed? FINALLY, he does something and she sees and pulls over at the next stop so we can switch.
i was expecting something, which i guess is too much to expect from the MTA. do you know that this bitch didnt even say "sorry", not even eye contact. she didn't even lower the bus so i didnt have to take one giant step up. N-O-T-H-I-N-G! i waited 40 minutes in the freezing rain, am soaking wet, you PASSED me (basically twice because you didn't stop the 2nd time either) - and i don't even get an "sorry, i didn't see you" or an empathetic eye glance. you bitch.
to put the cherry on top of this melting sundae, she drove like a lunatic. cutting people off, speeding (more so than usual), and then passed the bus stop by 1/2 a block to drop people off. don't worry bus 8237, ticket sign 185. i'm coming for ya.
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i left work at 5:15 and am on the bus, finally, at 6:07. the bus is old, loud, and the guy next to me, bless his kind heart, is not meant to share a seat. also i decided to be feminine today and wear a dress, with stockings, not leggings, STOCKINGS. cool.
also, not only do i have a night ahead of me of snoring (love you Phil) but the guy across the row is giving me a preview, snoring as loud as shit. so loud in fact the bus driver got on the loud speaker and asked that someone wake him up. jesus take the wheel.
when i walk in my door tonight i will be grateful for a few things. my sick husband, my undoubtedly full sink, that i get to cook dinner, and the fact i get to do it all over again in 12 hours.
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